No TWO dayS will ever be the same

Hi, I’m Will Swyers.

Not so long ago, I was seriously struggling to get up each morning. I’d fight with my alarm, consumed by anxiety about the coming day. I knew that it would just be the same crap over and over again, and I didn’t want to face it. So I would hop on my phone and dive into a long downward spiral that could consume my whole morning and leave me to start my day as a walking cocktail of fear, anger, and guilt.

I hate to admit this now, but I was a sadass.

Me on the NYC metro in 2013

Me on the NYC metro in 2013

I was searching desperately but I was going nowhere.

 I read as many self-improvement articles and books as I could find, but that only made me feel overwhelmed. Suddenly, I had dozens of random tips and tricks that I couldn’t get myself to implement, and that piled on even more guilt when I wasn’t able to act upon them.

Every bad morning lead to a another bad day:

  • I couldn’t shake the “off” feeling all day long.

  • I did mindfulness meditations, but they only helped me minimize my stress, not transform it into productivity.

  • Some days I would go right onto YouTube or Facebook, get sucked in, and time would disappear.

  • I would always feel like today was another “groundhog day” - nothing exciting to get me focused.

  • I felt like nothing I did mattered, and that no day was important or significant. I had no day to day purpose.

  • Because nothing seemed to work, I would think to myself, “I guess I’m just like this. It’s how the rest of my life will be.”

  • It got so bad, I started to resent people who were happy in the morning, and I vowed to never be that annoying!